Thursday, October 29, 2009
Quote from my paper
Crimes of passion are supposed to be not premeditated and can happen whenever a person feels that sense of uncontrollable rage towards someone else. This, by legal definition isn’t the same as first-degree murder because “in order for an individual to be convicted of first or second-degree murder, he or she must have had intent” (Thompson). This usually triggered by when a loved-one is cheating on his or her relationship with another person.
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"Crimes of passion are supposed to be not premeditated" is kind of clumsy and sounds a bit unsure of itself. Try something like:
ReplyDeleteA crime of passion, by definition, is a crime committed, without premeditation, by a person under the influence of uncontrollable rage. It is usually results in death [I don't know if that's true--but you're comparing it to murder--so you need to explain that connection to the reader somehow] and is only punished differently than first-degree murder because, legally, "in order for an individual to be convicted of first or second-degree murder, he or she must have had intent" (Thompson).
Then--
What do you mean by "this" in the last sentence? Without clarifying, it seems like you're not making a point about the quotation, but you actually are.